Schalke poke fun at Manchester in match programme

Schalke 04 will include some cheeky comments in the match programme for tonight's Champions League semi-final against Manchester United, as the club mascot comments on life in England in his satirical column.

Erin Koslowski, the mascot in question, makes a serious of observations including the royal wedding, Katie Price and a belief that all men from Manchester carry darts and a picture of a bulldog in their front pockets.

'The English are going nuts this week about the wedding - no, not Katie Price this time but Prince William,' explains the column.

'The typical Manc man is called Paul. He has darts in his right pocket and in his left pocket has a picture of a bulldog. The girls are called Samantha and you can find them on page three.

'The typical national dish is lamb with mint sauce or potatoes with mutton and is always on the menu at every party.

'Weird: they have their chips with vinegar but no froth on the beer.'

Football tickets are available now for a host of European matches.

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